“I had already died seven times in a row and so, my body is only expressing it’s final grief through this piece of writing before it could finally have it’s rest. My spirit is already crushed and so I am convinced that there is no turning back from this. It may be an irrational decision but at this point,I don’t really care. All I want is peace and the only way I can get that is through death.

It is a tragedy that I have to leave this world on my own terms but it’s the only thing I can think off right now. You might not understand since you weren’t the one fighting for your dignity an hour ago. My brother had broken my soul when he chose to assault me sexually against my will and so, even though it wasn’t my fault, I will still live with the consequences of his actions deeply rooted in my mind. For me, it’s unbearable and that is why I am ending my life.

I need to slip away quickly into the abyss and so, for once, I am glad that father kept a pistol locked up in a safe cabinet in his room. Fred, I know you’ll hear the shot and so, you’ll be the first witness to my death. I want you to know that you are the reason I did this and I want you to live with the guilt until you breath your last on this earth. I am sorry for being harsh but you seized to be my brother the moment you chose to use me as a sex symbol and so good reddens and I hope you tell mother what you did…so long…”

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